...like a firing squad.

Lesson Six

Context:  This was written at work (shhhhh) the morning after a lovely dinner with the Amazing Amy, Queen Martini, and Auntie Awesome. 

So I’m listening to Janet Napaletano on the radio with Beth and Bill and it honestly makes me want to kill myself.  I’m not sure if I would dislike the governor as much as if she’d never appeared on the show.  She’s massively full of herself, grabs credit, and shifts blame, which isn’t enough to distinguish her from every other politician in the world.  So it may well be her yukking it up with the two most self-satisfied morning show hosts in the Valley that pushes her into the loathsome category.  “’allo, Guvna!”  “Dubya—what a moron, whuh huh huh.”  Multiply by twenty minutes and follow with “Only the Good Die Young” (the most loathsome song on mainstream radio) and that’s my morning. 

Which makes memories of last night even more vital.  That meal was just too fine to allow it to be curdled by the likes of B&B.  Dinners and company such as that make life worth living.  Which is why I’m going to leave this message on my screen, to give me strength and comfort during the next playing of Sheryl Crow or Avril Lavigne.  Though I suppose I could try to think of them as something friendly.  Like a firing squad. 

Hey!  Isn’t that a Tootsie quote?!  Indeed it is, and see how applicable to daily life?

Line:  “Try to think of them as something friendly—like a firing squad.”

Context:  Dorothy is auditioning for a role on Southwest General, but has dropped her script pages.  When Julie helps her collect the pages, Dorothy laments, “I’ll never get these together in time,” then is startled by the large cameras moving in on her position.  Julie says, “They’ll never know the difference,” and about the cameras, “Try to think of them as something friendly—like a firing squad.”  This line is notable as it is one of the few reasonably funny things Julie says.

Usage:  See above.  Now square your shoulders and face the horrors of the world!

Lesson Seven: Mixing it up.

Lesson Five:  “I've got my stars.”

Contact Cobra.