The Stories of the Feet

Well, I'll tell you it's been something of a blur. Football games just keep coming and coming, ceaselessly. I'm hoping they'll trail off by Thanksgiving because I'm tired of the lousy parking around the Coffee Plantation on game days. Also, Tech Support has been filled with tension. Mr. Flintstone, whose team the Cowboys (you may know them from King of the Hill) was victorious a few weeks back in their match against Mr Enigma's team the Redskins (you may know them from any number of protests against political incorrectness in sport), hung a picture of some members of his team in Mr Enigma's cube. This picture was taken from grass level, and one of the guys has his foot raised as if he means to squash the onlooker, in this case, Mr E himself. Uncowed, Mr Enigma took a fat black marker and drew arrows coming out of the men. At the end of the arrows he wrote the words "FAT," "UGLY," "NUMBNUTS," and...well, you get the idea. As hard as you try to annoy Mr Enigma, he always finds a way to be more insufferable than you ever imagined possible. This is his special gift.

Anyway, when the season ends, I'm sure we can look forward to more substantive debates, such as whether purple is a girl color and whether a shirt can be gay in a literal sense. All the Toes of in the Know In a nearby cube we find King James, the recently promoted Ectomorph. I now have even less idea what about what he does around here than I did before, but it seems to keep him busy. Call him with any questions you have about any product anywhere. He is a veritable Entire Foot of in the Know. He knew right away that I misnamed prancing goatee boy in Vol. 10--it should have been The Mad Hatter of Spastic Chatter. I think he should have been happy with "Mindless" Chatter, because the two m's gives the phrase a third poetic aspect, but oh well. Before his illustrious ascent, he and ace nicknamer Magi (aka Eye of Fatima) made some new designations to the Spice family group. Mr. Flintstone was named "The Anti-Spice," Mr Enigma "Polter-Spice," and myself, "Just Answer the Damn Phone Spice."

I will inform you of our tour plans as soon as they become available.

(Written by Sharon C. McGovern)

From Vol. 11
Get Back to Work!